from now on this blog will be my landscape. its kind of a diary since nobody will read it anyways. let me start telling you how fucked up my life is right now. it's not that i don't have any friends to talk to, i have a few but they don't really. and the ones who kind of do, don't fully understand what i'm feeling. 1º i will never ever going to feel that i have the right to be in this world. my father didn't want me and we wanted my mom to get an abortion. it's not that my mom got knocked up at 16 or something. she was 20, she was smart, she had a job, and she had a pussy boyfriend. i really could have a better father. then. my grandmother and my great-grandmother were the only ones in my father family who actually cared about my mom and the pregnancy. then my great-grandmother passed way. i didn't meet her, but i know the great women that she was. so, in conclusion, i was renegaded by my father, and this whole family. i lived i my grandmother (from my mother family) since i was born, with my uncle and auntie(my mom's siblings) and my mom's. my grandfather is my actual father. he lives in Angola and comes time to time , but still. he done everything for me , and i couldn't be more grateful. but i never will stop felling shitty about my self. my own father didn't want me and he fucking did the same to my sisters(yes, that prick had two more daughters with two different wife's). when i was 9 he decided to show up, and disappear, and show up and disappear again. only my auntie and grandmother(father's) stayed there for me. i loved them , they were the ones who actually cared about me. but then, my grandmother passed away. it was the closest death experience in my life and until today i don't know how i managed to stay without her. she was light, she was pure light,and joy, and happiness and love. i loved her, and she's gone. everybody knew that one of the things that she hated the most was what my father does to me. she did never approved his actions and most certainly his choices. she died so young... with a fucking cancer. a fucking cancer took my gran away from me. in her 50's a cancer took away her life like she wasn't important to someone. that's why sometimes i don't really believe in God. why god only take the one that are harmless? that love anyone in this planet heart? that do anything to help and make the ones around them happy?. gramma, i love you so much that even remember you without seeing you kills me. i miss you and i wish i could bring you back and kiss you and hug you and say that you are one of the most important persons in my life. i'm sorry that the prick you call son didn't learn from you what it takes to be a good, great person. even though you had money , you were so humble, so unique, even the people who worked in our home loved you. i'm sorry he toked the time that was ours to share. i'm sorry he toked our life together. i'm sorry for everything i did and you didn't like. i hope that you're proud of me as a granddaughter , as much as i am for having you as a grandmother. love you always, ana.
Muitas pessoas consideram o que é ''estrangeiro'' mais bonito do que o que é nacional. Pois bem , Portugal não tem nenhuma Torre Eiffel , nem uma Estátua da Liberdade nem de todo uma Torre de Pizza, mas tem paisagens maravilhosas , quer seja no campo , quer seja na cidade ou na praia , as paisagens portuguesas trazem inspiração , pureza, e claro , beleza. por isso , quando tiverem umas férias , em vez de outros locais experimentem explorar Portugal